Things that annoy me.

UC Berkeley.


Nestled within the East Bay Area, this melting pot of a university has exposed me to all types of people. People of different races, sexual orientations, lifestyles, and intelligence levels (believe me, not everyone is as smart as this university perceives them to be). Unfortunately for me, I bear witness to all the trends and idiosyncrasies that a majority of individuals practice to "fit in". Sure, you may think that it's all in human nature to desire becoming part of the herd, and that's great. But frankly, what I am about to document simply annoys the FUCK out of me. So without further ado, I present to you the 5 things that annoy me on the daily.
*Disclaimer: if you find yourself in one of these categories, don't be offended. Steven still loves you.

1.) People without visual impairment who wear prescription frames.



Since when did the appearance of a 'nerd' become cool? Boppers and hipsters, I'm talking to you. If you want to be perceived as overly and overtly intelligent, join the math club, squander away your weekends watching Star Trek, or better yet, stare at the sun until you're actually deserving of your specs. Welcome to the club, four-eyes.

2.) Women/girls who wear flashy rain boots with a conservative outfit.



"Damn, she's dressed to kill." *Looks at her feet* "What the fuck is she, 5?"

Ladies, if you're going to be rocking rain boots with colors and patterns that would induce epilepsy, then by all means coordinate your outfit akin to a bowl of skittles. Besides, it's much easier to pick out a Dora the Explorer-looking trend whore over a woman who actually knows how to dress herself on a rainy morning.

3.) Ugg boots



How long have these Eskimo boots been in style? Wearing to the snow, fine. Wearing in the city/suburbs? FAIL. Go take you ass to the North Pole, Mrs. Clause.

4.) Keffiyehs



Palestinian solidarity or trendy scarf? Please, if you're wearing these without any prior knowledge or acknowledgment of the culture, get the fuck out. It's bad enough Berkeley has allowed a corporate vulture such as Urban Outfitters into its city to peddle these to mindless consumers. Yes, I hate Urban Outfitters, but I'll save that for another day.

5.) Backwards-installed toilet paper



I see this every time I pop a deuce. Some inconsiderate fuck installs the toilet paper backwards as to induce annoyance and rage. Not a big deal you say? Not when you, like me, tear off a strip in one swift motion. The result is an unsuccessful tear that instead comes off as a strong yank unraveling nearly a foot of excess paper. Sorry, but I want my experience to be as pleasant as possible, not a shitty one (zing!).